The instant our children are born, we look for reflections of ourselves in them. When Evie Crosby, of Tallahassee, Florida, delivered her son, Wyatt, she immediately asked her husband, Adam, "Does he have your chin?" Adam gave her a thumbs-up as the nurses cooed over Wyatt's deep cleft -- just as nurses had done when Adam was born 30 years earlier. Moments like these are more than a little profound. Seeing yourself -- and your spouse -- in your baby makes you truly feel like a family. Inheritance goes far beyond eye and hair color: Genes can even shape personality traits like leadership and spirituality. Despite startling advances in genetics, our understanding of how genes and environment interact is far from perfect. "Many traits have a large hereditary component, but genetics isn't destiny -- genes are just one influence on how kids turn out," says Joann Bodurtha, MD, professor of human genetics at Virginia Commonwealth University, in Richmond.

Mirror Image

It's easiest to spot similarities in your child's appearance. "Our 2-1/2-year-old daughter, Amber, is really a mix of both families," says Rose McKinney, of Oshawa, Ontario. "She has my face and my grandmother's stick-straight hair, but her dad's brown eyes and long, big toes." Amber's eye color isn't surprising: Brown eyes are considered a dominant trait, so if one parent has the gene for brown and the other has a recessive gene for blue, brown usually wins. Even so, nobody can predict eye pigment for sure: In some cases, both parents have blue eyes but still have a brown-eyed baby, which shouldn't happen if the trait followed the simple dominant-recessive rule.

"Most traits are actually determined by many genes working together, rather than a single gene," says Kate Garber, PhD, director of education in the department of human genetics at Emory University School of Medicine, in Atlanta. Take hair color, for example. If a father carries only a dominant gene for brown hair and the mother carries only a recessive gene for blond, their children should all have brown hair, but some of their grandchildren are likely to be blond. Reason: The kids inherit both sets of genes, which can combine with blond genes from their mates to produce fair-haired offspring. But don't blame the mailman if your child's hair is surprisingly red -- the interplay of genes can create all sorts of unexpected traits. And if your son eventually loses his hair, he can point a finger at either parent: Contrary to popular belief, the dominant gene for male-pattern baldness can be passed down by moms or dads.

Joseph Chisolm, of Secaucus, New Jersey, certainly knows how arbitrary inheritance can be. He's black and his wife, Donelle, is white, so they weren't surprised that their first child, 4-year-old Jaydon, was dark-skinned and brown-eyed. "He could pass for Hispanic," Chisolm says. But their 1-year-old son, Jordon, is startlingly different: "He's white, blond, and blue-eyed," says Chisolm. "You would never guess that he was the child of a mixed-race couple."

Even when your kids don't look exactly like you, there may still be subtle but striking resemblances. One study found that families tend to have similar facial expressions when they're happy, sad, angry, disgusted, surprised, or thinking hard. And kids don't just pick up these reactions from watching us: Blind members of 21 families in the study also grimaced, smiled, and scowled like their relatives 80 percent of the time. Other likenesses are quirkier. Both Kim Whorton, of Birmingham, Alabama, and her daughter Zoe, the oldest of 3-year-old triplets, have dimples in their shoulder blades -- a rare trait that's been traced to an abnormality on a specific chromosome.

In some cases, one genetic trait may be linked to others. Check the hair whorl at the top of your child's head: If it swirls counterclockwise, he has a 50-50 chance of being left-handed or ambidextrous, which suggests that both hair pattern and handedness are driven by some of the same genes.

Infertility is a complex and often misunderstood condition, which is why there's so much confusion surrounding it. Here are seven common myths to watch out for -- and help dispel.

Myth 1: It's easy for most women to get pregnant.

While it's true that many woman conceive without difficulty, more than five million people of childbearing age in the United States -- or one in every 10 couples -- have problems with infertility. Certain health conditions and factors, such as age, can affect a woman's ability to conceive. For instance, a healthy 30-year-old woman has about a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant each month; while by age 40, her chances drop to about 5 percent a month. But infertility can affect women of any age, and from any background.

Myth 2: Men don't have infertility problems.

Though it's commonly believed that infertility is a "women's problem," nothing is further from the truth. About 35 percent of all infertility cases treated in the United States are due to a female problem. But 35 percent (an equal number!) can be traced to a male problem, 20 percent to a problem in both partners, and 10 percent to unknown causes.

Myth 3: Infertility is a psychological -- not physical -- problem.

Well-meaning friends and relatives may suggest "infertility is all in your head" or "if you'd stop worrying so much, you'd get pregnant." But in reality, infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system -- and not a psychological disorder. In fact, one or more physical causes are identified in the vast number of infertile couples. So while relaxing, going on vacation, or finding positive ways to de-stress can improve your overall well-being, these lifestyle changes won't solve your infertility problems.

Myth 4: Couples who "work" hard enough at having a baby will eventually get pregnant.

New methods of diagnosing and treating infertility have improved many couples' chances of having a baby. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), more than half of all couples who pursue treatment will achieve a successful pregnancy. On the other hand, it's important to remember that infertility is a medical disease and that problems sometimes remain untreatable -- no matter how hard a couple "works" at solving them.

Myth 5: Once a couple adopts a child, the woman will become pregnant.

This particular myth is not only painful for infertile couples to hear, but it's also untrue. First of all, it suggests that adoption is simply a means to an end (a pregnancy), and not, in and of itself, a valid and wonderful way to form a family. Secondly, only about 5 percent of couples who do adopt later become pregnant. This success rate is the same for couples who don't adopt and become pregnant without further treatment.

Myth 6: Husbands often leave their wives if they're infertile.

As stated earlier, infertility is a medical condition that affects both men and women equally. In fact, about 40 percent of the time, the male partner is either the sole or contributing cause of infertility, according to ASRM. While many couples do find the process of infertility testing and treatment rigorous, stressful, and intrusive (not to mention costly), they do get through it -- together. Many partners also find new and deeper ways of relating to each other and discover that their marriage has become even stronger.

Myth 7: Infertile couples will never be happy or fulfilled.

Being unable to conceive a much-wanted child (or carry a pregnancy to term) can fill a couple with sadness, grief, anger, despair, and even a sense of personal failure. While it's normal for infertile couples to experience a range of powerful emotions, most people do move through this life crisis successfully and gradually put it into better perspective. For some couples, "moving on" means letting go of their initial dreams of having a baby. Other couples decide to adopt. But in either case, couples do learn that there is life after infertility and find myriad ways to fulfill themselves -- with or without children.